Vanity — A Black Woman’s Guise to Validate Success!

The black woman, in my opinion, is the most beautiful woman in the world. Her skin tones were blessed by GOD with melanin which helps to protect it from the harmful, light from the sun. And because of this protection her skin ages at a slower rate than her counterparts. Her lips are full and kissable, and her build is plentiful and strong. She has naturally, what most women of other descents, must pay for.

Oh, but she doesn’t stop at just her looks. She goes so far beyond the surface! Black women are the most educated group of women in America. Don’t believe me? Do the research!

Great examples,

Michelle Obama was the first African American First Lady from 2009 to 2017. Not only was she the first African American first lady. But she is also a Harvard Law School graduate and a Princeton University graduate, as well.

Lala Ali is an American former professional boxer who competed from 1999 to 2007. She is the daughter of the world-famous boxer, Muhammad Ali. During her career, from which she retired undefeated. She held the WBC, WIBA, IWBI and the IBA female middle weight titles and the IWBF light heavy weight title. Wins by knock out 21 out of 24. Zero losses!

I mentioned these two women because not only are they beautiful, esthetically – they are also strong and brilliant women of color. They live their lives in real time and not just for and on social media.

These two women are just two of the many other successful African American women that have accomplished great things with their minds, resilience, and strength. Their looks only added to their already beautiful souls.

Let’s be honest, though. We have gotten far away from what we use to deem as success. It used to be our educational achievements, marriage and community involvements. Now its everyone for themselves and how much we can out do our neighbors, family or friends.  

When I look at my social media pages and even when I take a glance at other’s social media pages. All I observe is pretentious behavior. The black woman on social media is now a bad, boss bitch. Many of us don’t need a man and we are very comfortable with having gender reveals without the father present. The feminist movement has defiantly done a number on us!

The appearance of success through nothing but vanity-stricken posts. I won’t even get into the spiritual ramifications of the use of vanity, because I don’t wish to be stoned. We beat our faces until we are unrecognizable. We put our bodies through trauma all because many of us won’t discipline ourselves enough to get in shape. Or we wish to buy into the Eurocentric versions of beauty and what beauty is, so we are losing ribs. Just to have small waists.  And I myself am guilty of wearing extensions because I am too lazy to style my naturally, thick, long hair.

We have even gotten to where we are teaching our daughters, by our on examples, how to dress provocatively – so that we can achieve hundreds of likes or hearts from mere strangers. Just to feel accepted and or wanted or desired. This attention can and has proved to be deadly, time and time again. Then why do we seek it so badly? It all seems so superficial to me but then again, what do I know?

Many of us go out to social events and if there are ten of us there – all ten of us are on our phones. There is no real engagement any longer. And if we aren’t careful, after a while we won’t know how to be in meaningful, healthy friendships and or romantic relationships.  

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Back to the topic – Vanity is the Black Woman’s guise for success. If we can look like we have money, then that means we do, even if we borrowed the very clothing that we take our pictures in.  If we can go to the club and pop bottles – take lots of pictures, then that validates how happy and successful we are. Yet we go home to a cold, empty bed and mounds of debt from overspending.

When will we get back to living the true meaning of success? Such as, just living in our purpose — living to make the world a little bit better for the ones around us. Leaving a legacy that will last.

Not caring or needing validation from anyone but GOD and ourselves should be the goal. Living our lives in “real time” is how we optimize our potential. Putting down the phones whenever we are engaging others is how we grow and win. We must start talking about building and not always talking about others.

We as Black women are truly beautiful. It’s time that we act like it. Energy can’t be faked! Eventually, we will have to physically engage others. Don’t let it be said, “wow she acted and looked nothing like her profile persona.” 

Always Best Regards, 

Marion Myers Wallace

Get your signed copy of Marion’s book, Ghettos Forgotten Daughters!

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